Understanding
Emptiness The Think/Feel Conflict
Supported by years of clinical
experience, the book presents a model on where emptiness comes from,
its progression through the stages of life, recognizing its effects and
finally showing how to "fill the emptiness." Addresses frequently
asked questions: What is it about me that causes others to treat me as
they do? How can I think so logically about things and still be unable
to control my feelings? Why don't others deal with me in the same way
I deal with them? Why is it impossible to please so many people?
Quotes from Understanding
Emptiness:
The simplest definition of emptiness is the condition that exists when
the opposing sides of the brain... analyze the same situation or problem
but arrive at opposing solutions. That is the reason ...we can think one
way but feel totally different about the same situation.
...whenever your negative emotional activity
increases, you will find that your thoughts get jumbled. Recalling details
such as names and numbers suffers and concentration abilities are decreased.
You will have increased difficulties in finding the words you are trying
to say. Again this makes sense....
All too often people find themselves in a relationship
with a partner who has a number of negative emotional memories... and
this often leads to unreasonable, illogical, and unwinnable situations
with that partner.
Not only does a person deal with a current situation
that can be problematic...on its own accord, but the person also has
to deal with negative emotional memories...reactivated by the present
day situation. Therefore, the negative emotions can become overwhelming
and result in feelings of hopelessness and helplessness, even in situations
that are solvable.
No one is free of emptiness. It is an inescapable
plague....This emptiness is the factor that will prevent us from ever
achieving total peace, either between groups or between individuals.
It can never be removed from any of us, only reduced or increased in
its degree.
The origin of our own internal emptiness always
begins with our interaction with our parents.
Sources of resentment toward brothers and sisters
appear to stem from two distinct areas: perceived differences in parental
treatment or an abusive sibling.
For many individuals, school...is often looked
on as one's "best years." For others, however, school becomes
a situation which is dreaded and very punishing.
If one begins to realize that our dating partners and spouses have their
own emptiness, it does become possible to comprehend these numerous relationship
difficulties.
Outside of our immediate family, perhaps the
most frequent psychological problems we experience occur within the context
of our job....It happens both with blue collar and white collar jobs....This
involves emptiness in our supervisors and coworkers. |